It’s okay to be scared right?
OF COURSE IT IS.
Over the last few weeks since we ‘announced’ we were leaving we’ve been faced with opinions. It’s as if the moment you make a choice that isn’t deemed traditional, questions that usually people would mutter between themselves behind close doors are fair game and you are faced with a barrage of opinions about your wild life choices.
BUT YOUR CHILDREN, THEY NEED FRIENDS!
..Thankfully, the world is populated with human beings, many of those human beings are tiny humans and many of those tiny humans will be in the countries where we live and will play/teach/learn/experience the world with our tiny humans too.
MEDICINE, ALL OF THE MEDICINE YOU HAVEN’T THOUGHT ABOUT MEDICINE
..We have! I promise, thankfully we are both avid worriers about things like this so have looked into the best medical insurance we possibly can get for our tinies and for us – broken bones and anything frightening we’d be covered for helicopters and emergency flights, although our choice may seem a little off the wall to some – safety is at the top of our list. Before we go, all of the injections we need will be had and if we need anymore along the way we can do that. I will also be packing an A Grade Mum kit – all the stuff for teething, coughs and colds and olbus oil! Sam has already got himself one of the mega first aid kits too so for anything minor/a little bit scary but not too scary we’re going to try to cover it.
‘YOU HAVE A DUTY OF CARE TO YOUR ANIMALS AND YOU’RE NOT ABIDING TO IT’
A real life statement from a stranger, taken from my Instagram. This one really stung as our cat and dog are a massive part of our family and we love them a lot, we’ve had moments where we’ve thought of throwing our plans away and have a constant feeling of being awful humans so to have someone we didn’t know comment on our situation was really hard. However, we know very well about our duty of care to our animals which are why we are settling them both we people we know well and who will love them as much as we do because we want them to have an amazing time too! Change is a lot for an animal but ours have been through various house moves, are very social and have been looked after by family and friends before whilst we’ve been away. Both Cece and Lula will be doing little trials in their new homes so if for any reason they aren’t comfortable we can work out how to make them happy and comfy before we leave. Obviously we could stay, but by the time we found ourselves at a point without our pets, the girls would be settled in school and our situations could be very different and we wouldbe unable to do what we are doing. So, as long as when we get on that plane our animals are waving us off with wagging tails.. Well Lula doesn’t have a tail and functions in two modes ultimate fuss or non chalance – so no wagging tail but a face of distane or utter contentment, we’ll be happy.
THEY HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL.
I went to school, Sam went to school and Dylan and Dotty will both be educated too, just differently! The idea of world schooling/home educating is something that excites us both – we will seek out learning wherever we are! Of course, we’ll have workbooks and resources we’ll be using to make sure that they also know everything they’d be expected to know if they were in school in the UK because otherwise we’d be failing them! We’ll be learning as well, we are also new to this but it’s something we’re passionate about and something we’re looking forward to doing with them!
SO YOU’RE GIVING UP YOUR LETTERS AND SAM IS GIVING UP HIS JOB?..
..No. Sam works for Teamwork remotely, which means he doesn’t have an office (well, he does have an office but in our house!) and it means we can go anywhere as long as Sam can work. Thankfully the world is very connected and Wi-Fi is pretty easy to come by and if we did ever want to go to somewhere a little bit more remote for a week or two we could because as with every job Sam is entitled to holiday! My work is also similar, as long as I have my stationary, wi-fi and a postal system I can carry on as normal with One Million Lovely Letters. I have lots of stamps here in the UK so instead of posting each one from wherever we are, I will be sending packages of letters back home which my Mum will them be putting stamps on and sending on their merry way. I have two volunteers Hannah and Christine who have produced so many beautiful letters for the project and they will be getting their big supply of stamps and stationary before I go too (as the usual process is everything comes back to me to stamp and look over and I post out stationary and cards when needed). I’ll have already pre packed hundreds of volunteer packs for my Mum to post out as and when to the other gorgeous volunteers who write letters for the project too. So although our move does mean I have to change bits and pieces and my Mum has to make more frequent letterbox trips, it’s actually making the project a lot more manageable and I’m excited for the next chapter.
..Basically there has been a lot! Overall, we’ve recieved the most gorgeous of reactions. People are genuinely happy for us and the girls and excited for our adventures but as someone whose anxiety can find a hole to squirm into in pretty much everything – that out pouring of love we received made me panic. We have to stay. We are in a bubble, people love us and the girls, we are safe and warm and cosy and in a routine and this is where we need to stay. CANCEL EVERYTHING. And as I made my way through our belongings, taking them out of the charity shop pile and planning our next eighty years in Birmingham, in this house because by this time change of any sort had become a horrific idea and even the notion I’d have to change my socks was become hard to handle, reality started to creep back in.
Love travels. However, much we love our closest friends, we rarely see them – we keep in contact via phone and computer, when we do see each other it’s lovely and then we’ll go another number of weeks or months without seeing each other again. I have a best friend that I haven’t seen for nearly two years, does that mean our friendship is now invalid because we aren’t on each others doorstep and meeting every week – no, it just means when we do see each other – it’s magic. The person I see most is my Mum and I’m ready for that to be probably the hardest thing about being away, she’s my constant and in some ways, I am completely reliant on her. I would be lying if in someways I’m not looking forward to us having some distance from each other, simply because we never have – not for long and it’s going to be really healthy for us! However, did I call her up in tears the other night with the grim exclamation of WHAT IF YOU DIE OR I DIE AND WE’RE NOT RIGHT NEXT TO EACHOTHER?! Yes, 100% I totally did. But, heres the thing – I could be in my mums company every single day, we could talk about what we did in the last 24 hours, she could sit and watch the babies grow by the day and it would be good. Or, I could talk to my mum every few days and tell her about our worlds – the girls can tell her all about what they’ve seen and what they’ve been doing and every now and then she can fly out and experience it all and it would be magic. And magic wins. Will I probably phone her another handful of times in tears that our imminent deaths means we won’t spend every waking moment next to each other and we’ll live to regret it forever?! Yes, of course I will. But, between sobs I will remember that love isn’t conditional. Our love for one another does not exist because we live a few minutes apart and because we see each other often or in the cases of our friends/other family every couple of weeks or months. It’s ingrained into our beings, it’s our experiences, our conversations, our quick messages at the end of a hard day, it’s everything until this point and that doesn’t end the second we board a plane. Love will be at the end of a skype call or a what’s app message. Our children will know and adore the team we have back home via letters and messages and video calls and have a world of things to introduce them too. So yes, whilst it is scary to walk away – it’s not the love we are walking away from. That comes with us everywhere. And suddenly, the idea of it all isn’t so scary at all.